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I’m growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
I’d rather die while I’m livin’ than live while I’m dead
— Jimmy Buffett
The winds of change have been blowing pretty hard around here of late. Some men of my community who were strong and vital when I met them a quarter century ago are falling sick; some have died. Clan Cornelius just went through the always-wrenching experience of saying goodbye to a beloved canine companion, who ran out of trail at the venerable age of 14. My brother and I are caring for our 92-year-old father — and questioning what, if anything, we want of life when we, too, hit our dotage.
I don’t aim to be morose about any of this. It is natural; it is just… life. So let us celebrate the “Die Living” spirit.
Synchronicity struck earlier this month when I ran across a mini-doc about a 63-year-old buckaroo named Randy Johnson, who is still forking broncs in rodeo competition. That’s right, he’s getting bucked off horses at an age when the ride alone must be churning his insides to butter and rattling his creaky bones.
The very same afternoon, my friend Erik Dolson showed up to tell me about his latest hobby — riding an electric unicycle. That thing is wicked fast and smooth, and you can tell by the shit-eating grin in the photo above that he’s having a good time with it.
Erik, pushing 70, is an accomplished vintage race car driver and a sailor, as well as a writer, real estate developer and political economist. He likes gadgets and wheels, and for whatever reason, he decided it would be fun to try to learn to ride a unicycle. So he did. It ain’t easy, and he confessed that there have been times when he thought he just couldn’t do it. But he can. He does.
Both Johnson and Dolson oughta know better. They oughta recognize that they ain’t young men anymore, that falling down hurts, and .… yeah, no. There’s always a chorus of naysayers, and when a man fails to “act his age” they start into their screeching song. They’ll tell you you’re crazy. Randy Johnson has the correct answer to that accusation:
“Reckon so.”
Another friend of mine, at age 72, has joined the small karate program I’ve been working in for the past decade. It ain’t easy for him. His body is not used to moving in such ways. It’s frustrating. That’s the point. When I started tactical shooting with Sgt. Rullman, I was a good shot, but had had very little experience at shooting-and-moving or running an AR or a semi-auto pistol. It was — still is — a challenge. Sometimes I feel like I’m floundering, like I’ve got two left feet and two fistfuls of thumbs. But I get better every session. Skills build and movements smooth out.
Doing things that challenge us, that we may not be good at right away, that we may fall down doing (more than once) is critical if we want to retain our vitality. Most men stop learning new things — especially things they fear they might suck at — well before middle age. And that’s nothing but a slow death. As Springsteen sings in Racing in the Streets:
Some guys just give up living
Start dying, little by little, piece by piece
Some guys come home from work and wash up
And go racing in the streets
Erik fell and bunged up his shoulder. He worked through it. I imagine that Randy Johnson has a shuddersome litany of aches and pains. So what? They should start acting more like old men? Nah. They’re just letting the wind blow over their head — they’d rather die while they’re living than live while they’re dead. Hats off to ’em. Ride on.
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Yeah, some bitter winds this winter. Too many people fighting cancer, ailments of the ‘old’, AARP offers in the mail…
We said goodbye to both our long time cats in the Spring, too. As someone said, “Damn hard losing a pet, even worse to lose your familiar.”
But, this post limns a shift in terminology, perhaps. “Dying with your boots on” is usually thought of as dying young doing what you do but maybe now we can think of it more as *keeping* your boots on and dying at the end of a long–and active until the end–road.
Love it — yes, keep your boots on, all the way.
Matthew says
Learning new skills helps fight off Alzheimer’s and senility. Which is something I need to do more of. People in my family tend to live a long time but their minds go.
Our thoughts are running along similar lines, amigo. I’ve spent a lot of time the last few months thinking, evaluating, and re-evaluating my hobbies, pursuits, and goals. Working at a university, I interact on a daily basis with people who are young enough they could almost be my grandchildren. So my perspective might be a little different than the average [REDACTED]-year old. They energy and enthusiasm is helping to keep me young.
I’ve decided I don’t want to quit being active, even if it is easier to sit and doze rather than workout. Or write. Or read.
That way lies death. I am choosing another path. I took up archery this past summer after winning a compound bow in a raffle. I’m going to take up another hobby that will keep me active this year, although I’m not sure what yet. I want to go out in a blaze of glory. Many years from now.
I’ve always thought that “shot to death by a jealous husband at the age of 101” would be an excellent blaze of glory.
Seriously, taking up archery is a grand thing on many levels.
Ugly Hombre says
Did not feel old at all until I hit 60 then had to realize time has it way with you like it or not. Considerable past that now and busted up.
Old pard’s and friends start to disappear- you do old bastard Tai Chi for health not Shaolin, Its a cup of coffee and a book, not a case of beer at the Ponderosa out on Macarthur way.
Your bones sound like a coffee can full of rocks when you get up in the morning. And its hard to see the sights on your .45. You start to think about getting rid of all of or most of your stuff, you don’t want your wife to deal with it after you croak.
You make arrangements with your book dealer and LGS, sounds a bit morbid but its not its just reality.
You think about how lucky you were to have seen what you did, done what you did, traveled where you did, learned what you did. Lived when you did. You review the things you should not have done “never should have gone in that place” etc. You think about luck again and how compared to others you are in the gravy and have no problems at all.
My pard Joe and I were telling lies one day talking about thumb busters, bemoaning the current price to the venerable Colt SAA. I asked Joe.
“What would you rather have Joe? a brand new Colt Single Action Army or a hot new girl friend?”
“I will take the Colt.”
That’s when I knew .….Joe was Old
I think I will load up the recurve and head for the Archery range. Its good light exercise.
“Nothing sooth’s the mind like drawing a bow”
Fred Bear
Just got glasses. Not happy about it. I still run through my tai chi forms and my body sounds like a Soviet tank rolling through the Fulda Gap. I’m tracking this comment way close to the ground. Stay frosty.
Ugly Hombre says
Yep me to, my peepers are weak now- but no way in hell I’m putting a laser sight on a hawg leg, Pike Bishop would cut me out. “You ‘a’int riding with us four eyes”!- I’ll just try to get in close. lol
We did a demo at a local Asian Pacific party a while back, it was a kalpa long while back actually. I wore my extra eyes.Another mistake.. Sifu’s wife gave me hell– Bu Hao! damn lofan Ai yah! She got over it after a while 🙂
Tai Chi is good stuff, but my Tai Chi is not, did not learn lot of it , practice the “Fo-Gu” 24 system- helps with the cracks and pops..
“Forrest Gump” Tai Chi.
Keep punching!
Ugly Hombre says
“Did not learn a lot of it” I meant — time for a new RX..
Edited to correct. Thx.
lane batot says
Yeah. Tell me about it. The inevitable. Truly one of the hardest things about the passage of time, is losing all the really good people in your life, especially when the caliber of most people around now can in no way begin to replace them. My Dad is 92 too, but still living independently! I sure hope I’ll be as lucky.…..So far, my health has held out rather well, which I credit in a large part to staying physically active. Although I’ll be hitting that milestone of the Big 6–0 in a month(and two days…), and I am the second oldest zookeeper in the zoo where I work, I was the one asked to help out a coupla Winters ago with a physically demanding job of hauling and unloading supplies for rhinos and African hoofstock that some of the younger set had trouble doing–feed bags and hay bales often adding up to a ton or so a day! I did well enough to have the crew WANT ME to stay, so I have, happily! No sign of slowing up (yet), either.…. I had to get simple reading glasses at 50–I need them for anything small and intricate up close, but my distant vision is as good as ever! You just need to adapt here and there, and not let it bother you so much–heck, we’ve all been adapting to changing age requirements since we were little kids, right? .…to be continued.….
lane batot says
.….and as for losing yer dogs–sorry to hear you lost your faithful pal. I lost that incredible survivor dog, the little wire-haired mutt that lived feral on the Zoo grounds(where I work) for years that I was at last called in to catch–wasn’t easy, but I did finally. And after ALL this poor little dog had survived, she was deemed “unadoptable” and they were going to euthanize her! Over my dead body! Any dog that can survive on her own in the woods(she successfully raised a litter of puppies as a feral dog, too!) is a helluva dog, and I wasn’t about to see her put down, after all she had been through! So I took her to try and “tame” her–she WAS completely wild! Then the plan was to adopt her out.….It took a long while–a good six weeks before I made the slightest progress, but in the end she came around–and was then INCREDIBLY faithful to ME! The people who inquired about her for adoption were, in my opinion, not very committed or worthy of this little spunky survivor, and as she got along fine with the rest of my eclectic pack, was a superb woods dog(of course!), I just decided to keep her! One of my best dogs ever! She was 4 or 5 when I caught her(on an Easter Sunday, hence her name “Bunny”), and I had her 10 years myself. She died peaceably sleeping in her dog bed this past Spring. Then I lost my 14 year old Bluetick Hound Roland this past Summer, and I have a 13 year old rescue mutt, Brick; and my best trespassing dog ever, my faithful Weimaraner Griswold, is 13 and on his last legs. Not to mention the 15 year old Siberian Husky, the last survivor of my all-rescue team of Siberians–although she is in better shape than any of the other older ones! But I KNEW when I took them all in, similar age that they were, I’d be facing all this death and sadness, one after another, one day. The key for me, to not go into a complete funk, is to also have, or be planning the adding of younger dogs to the pack to keep going. It’s all you can do. You howl and mourn the passing of the old ones, but you gotta just keep going for the younger ones.……
This is the first time in more than a quarter-century that we’ve been dogless. It’s a strange sensation and I can’t say I like it much. We’re probably going to stay this way for a bit for logistical reasons, but it’s not sustainable long-term.
lane batot says
Hopefully you can begin seriously considering the next canine addition to yer pack soon–to me, any circumstances that do not allow you to have a dog(or two, or three, or ten.…) is just a poor quality of life that MUST be addressed and changed! My dogs have always been a Barometer for the quality of my life and happiness–if circumstances are not good for them, then I am not very happy either. Sometimes a dog just comes into your life to change all that, quite unplanned! I’ve seen that happen again and again in other people’s lives.….
TJ says
Agreed
Need my 110 pound American Bulldog and although I would rather not die a painful death — its coming sooner or later. Life’s great in this country of freedom and as some have experienced, we are simultaneously indestructible and incredibly fragile. No doubt I have seen too much human death and unfortunately had a thing or two, to do with some of it.
Definitely not a recipent of the “Leave it to Beaver” upbringing and I know my dark side by first name — however, I am faced with my blessing’s when contrasted with what some some suffer for a life. We’re talking decades of suffering and on some human level, it doesnt matter why. I didn’t enjoy watching the last rattle snake I had to kill, squirm around before death.
A few great points made re lack of motion (stay in motion people!); not losing your sense of adventure (or you’ll die.…) and brother if you miss the companionship of a dog — get one! Most good things are a pain in the ass on the other side anyway. Free-will is a blessing and a curse and although you can mitigate the damage especially the physical side, nobody knows when their number will be called.
As my teenage boys told me last week before my over 50 year old carcass prepped for another L/E PT test (in the snow and rain), “Who cares dad, just send it, besides you wont be the slowest.” They were right.…..
Happy New Year and make it count!
As always, great comment. Thank you.
TJ says
Thank You Sir — great piece! These posts from you and Craig as well as the comments in response, come to many of us at the right time(s).
It’s another great tool to help folks pause, think and connect through technology. We are supposed to and I think generally as a species, want to help one another.
And condolences to anyone for any loss. No way around it I guess, but they sure do stack up don’t they? Miss my pops, little sis and fallen brothers and sister’s daily.
Good time of the year to reflect and be grateful.
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